I do have notes for the story though so I guess that will be good whenever I have time.
I'm looking into a second job because I just don't have money. By the time I save even a little bit for (this) or (that)*, it has to be used as an emergency to cover from any bouncing or needed for gas. I honestly don't know how people make it and I really admire the smarts and energy it takes for people to go to school, work, and still manage money efficiently. I guess having nine cats just doesn't help with the expenses.

Some other stuff happened. I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't decide if I'm incredibly at peace with everything or if I'm bat shit depressed. You'd think I'd spit out some good poetry from the sadness but it's like, it was way beyond the writing therapy for the pain, it's like.. mind numbing, sitting in dark rooms and feeling like my entire heart and soul was just removed by shreds, little and little at a time. But that main bout of crazy depression has moved on. I think I kicked it's ass. I feel completely normal and a little goofy and cheerful again at times. I think the big episode of depression has passed but I think I'm still going to be feeling aftershocks from it for a while. I know this probably doesn't make sense but I feel like if I don't say something, I'll sound bipolar or something. Not that I'm bipolar. I don't know what I am. I'm just nuts, I'm just crazy. I just wish I could get some good prose or poetry out of it, damn it. That's what makes me mad about it all.

Some more stuff happened after the other stuff happened. My poor mom is as sick as sick can be. I'm in denial if I am sick but I don't think I am. Slight, infrequent coughing.. a little sneezing. Nothing like how mom is. She's like.. wow. It's ridiculous. It's like the back of your head ridiculous. Everyone's sick, this sucks. I'm so paranoid I'm going to catch it that I swear I'm going to start sleeping with a Purelle bottle right next to me with my little Eleanor cow plushie (and two others, I have two others but then all three usually get pushed off or put above the pillows because then I also sleep with a pillow and then most of the time I have a cat or two sitting on my face or legs or somewhere annoying where I can't spread out and enjoy the bed and comforter).

The main point of that last sentence was that I'm going to sleep with a hand sanitizer. As much as the alcohol burns like shit on all the cuts and scratches I have from work, I'd rather be writhing in pain than at home, guilty because no one can work for me, and sick as a dog.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. There's a lot more than money to be thankful for, I enjoy the little things. Merry Christmas if I don't make a post by then. I hope everyone's holidays are going by more smoothly than my own.


* (edited** the examples that I listed from what I was saving money for because I felt like I sounded pitiful and attention-craving. Everyone's story is the same about what they're saving for and for who, I'm no different, so the situations I had provided do no one any good but going 'awww. poor you, jennifer.'

**I actually did not post the journal and edit but I edited it in midjournal as I was writing it and thought I'd just acknowledge the edit. I don't know why.


Surprise, this is not the end.
I've also been watching a lot of movies and series (animated, though, but damn, they've been good) lately.

Men Who Stare At Goats - I really recommend this movie. It's hilarious. It's just so great. Wow. Really. I loved it.

I saw Where The Wild Things Are finally, too, that was pretty amazing. I was never into the book (I read it like the month before I saw the movie) and it was... .. weird?, it was cool and all but I was more impressed that they made a movie out of that book that was just so stunning.

I want to see This Is It but only because mom wants to but I think it might be too late. Oh well, I'm sure we'll own it. I'm also probably going to see Twilight 2 (shut up, whatever, I don't care, you can make faces, I don't care) but I'm looking more forward to after Thanksgiving and decorating the house and watching the new Night Before Christmas with Jim Carrey. I also think I'm going with two co-workers, their moms, and my mom. It's like a triple date but...with our moms. I'm so excited about it but I don't know if it'll work out. I hope so. It sounds like fun to me, I don't know about you other people.

I guess that's it. I don't remember if I said what phone I got after the shoddy LG Chocolate. I'm now rocking an Alias2 from Samsung. They are pretty damn neat, especially the version two and not the original. Have you SEEN what the keypad does? It's like Wheel of Fortune but for your phone. And cooler. Wow, I love it.

Does anyone else foresee brain cancer in my future from all of this cell phone usage? I sure do. I hope it forms behind my eyes so I can see all those dots and colors like if you were pressing on your eyes with your fingers. Or smell burning feathers (no one will get that unless you've seen Bandits).

I'm also considering another piercing (but I think the doctor I work for would absolutely kill me if I got a nose piercing so I'm thinking another ear one) and a foot tattoo since ... well, the doctor would absolutely kill me if I got a wrist tattoo. I wonder why I tend to get these things during Christmas time. It seems like an unintentional trend.

This is the end of my journal.
Finally.